Self-image

The Curly Pre-Teen Experiment!

“I get so many compliments when I straighten my hair,” says Alexis, a 13-year-old middle school student. Alexis has just started learning about straightening her perfect curly locks. Her mom is not happy.

“I don’t know why she needs to do this. I tell her how beautiful she is with the curls she has and how just about everyone on the planet would kill for her curls.” says Alexis’ mom.

This interaction is a pretty common pattern between pre-teen curly girls and moms, everywhere. So, as part of an experiment, some of Alexis’ peers, teachers and instructors told her that her straight hair was “different,” instead of pretty. They used the terms “pretty,” “cute,” and “beautiful” for descriptions of her appearance and her clothing, but to her straight hair, only “different.” They commented on her “different look,” and how did Alexis respond?

“I like when people say I’m pretty, but they said I looked ‘different,’ and I thought it really wasn’t worth all of the time I spent straightening my hair just to hear that.” said Alexis.

Since then, Alexis has done a lot less straightening and spent a lot more time on other things she actually enjoys doing, like dance class and yoga.

Final Thoughts

Everyone loves a compliment, whether you’re a preteen or adult. But if your child can get past the compliments, which are really only words, and rely on her own decision-making ability and build her confidence, rest assured that straightening her curls may not be on the top of her priority list.

It’s a tough one, but it can be done.